My Best Christmas Gift

I've received a lot of very special gifts over the years: Timey-Tell (the doll that taught me how to tell time), a trip to Italy from my parents, a beautiful diamond bracelet from Tim. But, this year, the best Christmas present wasn't one that came wrapped in a box or topped with a festive bow.

This Christmas, the best present was Elliot. The best part of Christmas was that it was Elliot's first, and that we have so many more Christmases to look forward to as a family. I know that Tim agrees. In less than four months, Elliot has brought us so much joy.

The joy of watching him smile in delight when he sees Tim or me. The wonder of observing Elliot use his eyes, his hands and (most recently) his mouth to explore the world around him. The thrill of hearing his little laugh, and the hilarity of seeing what Elliot thinks is funny -- everything from a a game of peek-a-boo to the phrase "peeling parsnips." And the pure bliss of snuggling with Elliot on the sofa and realizing that he's our baby...and always will be.

Elliot doesn't understand what Christmas is all about. He doesn't "get" the Jesus story, despite our rhyming Christmas in the Manager book, and he'd be absolutely terrified of Santa Claus. He doesn't understand (although he's been playing with some of them) that he received many wonderful gifts, including a Detroit Pistons outfit, a wooden train set that spells out his name, some new bilingual books and some special gifts from his birth parents. He certainly had no idea why there were so many relatives who wanted to smile at him, touch him, hold him. And Elliot probably doesn't understand why his much older brother, who doesn't get to see him that often, kept picking him up, kissing him on the head and proclaiming, "I love you."

For Elliot, Christmas was an overwhelming mixture of colors, people, places and smells. But for us, our first Christmas with Elliot was a beautiful reminder of what a wonderful gift he is.

Nature vs. Nurture

Nature vs. nurture. It's a classic debate when it comes to trying to figure out why children act as they do and become who they are. With an adopted child, the question of nurture vs. nature becomes even more interesting.

With little Elliot, some things are clearly nature. For example, his 97th-percentile height is all biology. On the other hand, the fact that he stops crying when he hears "Yellow Submarine" is nurture (or, if you're not as big of a Beatles fan as Tim is, you might call it brainwashing.)

But, where does our precious little boy's personality come from? Typically, he's a happy boy who's quick to smile and likes to laugh. He loves to play peek-a-boo with a burp cloth and fly in the air, Superman-style. Certain songs make him absolutely crack up. For example, I just discovered that he thinks the song, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is hilarious, especially if the sshs are emphasized. Would he be so jolly if Tim and I weren't his parents...or if we weren't so goofy with him? There's no way to know.

One of the many things that I love about Elliot is his curiosity. For someone just 3.5 months old, he really seems to take in the world around him. He's absolutely fascinated by the jumble of colors and shapes he spots through the semi-open door of my messy clothes closet. He's mesmerized by the sights in the refrigerator (which I always explain is where "we keep the cold food") and the pantry ("where we keep the food that doesn't have to be cold"), despite having no concept of edibles beyond the bottle. Certain pieces of artwork in our house, among them a framed poster of shoes throughout the ages (!) seem to speak to little Elliot.  Nature? Nurture? A really interesting house? We'll probably never know.

Lately, Elliot seems to get upset when Tim and I aren't around. Last night, we heard his cries from outside of their house as we rang my parents' doorbell to pick up Elliot from a night of "fun with Grandma and Poppy." His cries ceased the minute he saw us. He'd be months ahead of the curve for separation anxiety, so what was going on? Were the birth parents like this as babies? I just might ask them. Or, is this a "nurture" situation caused by the fact that either Tim or I are almost always with Elliot?  Hm...hard to tell.

Elliot is playful. He's sweet. Vocal and strong-willed. He often acts like he doesn't want to go to sleep for fear of missing out on something. He's usually happy. Often cuddly. And he loves to smile.Whether it's nature, nurture or a mixture of the two, Elliot has an adorable little personality that makes him so easy to love. And that's really all that matters.

A Sleepless Night with Elliot

"Sleep when he sleeps" is probably the most common bit of advice I've heard since Elliot joined our family. What other parents don't tell you is the second part of the statement: "And you'll be awake when he is."

Unfortunately, little Elliot was not sleeping for a good part of last night. So, neither were Tim and I.

I'd noticed that Elliot had been a little congested, despite my best efforts to keep him germ-free. He was doing a little more coughing and sneezing than normal, although it didn't really seem to bother him that much during the day. Until Tim tried to put him to bed. For the third time.

I'd already retired for the night, exhausted from several previous nights of poor sleep. I should have known that last night wasn't going to be any better when I was shaken from a state of almost-sleep by the most awful cries.

Poor little Elliot. Clearly, he was having a hard time staying asleep, but we didn't quite know what was wrong. Did he just need comforting? Was he starting to teethe at a really young age or was he just gnawing on his hands for comfort? Was his slight congestion really affecting his slumber that much?

For the next three hours or so, Tim and I took turns getting up when Elliot cried, rocking him, watching him toss and turn...until he finally seemed at peace. For about 30 minutes. Then, we'd repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

I have to admit: I was feeling annoyed. I'm the type of person who needs 8 hours of sleep, which I rarely get. I had to get up early is morning. As much as I felt bad that my poor little son was suffering, I also felt sorry for myself. Then, I felt bad for being so selfish, and guilty that Tim got up more times than I did.

Finally, around 2 a.m., I had an idea. Elliot seemed pretty comfortable upright, but couldn't seem to stay asleep in a vertical position. So, we put a rolled-up blanket under the top part of his crib mattress so that his head would be elevated.

I was shocked to discover that it actually worked! At least until he woke up hungry an hour later, a feeding that Tim graciously covered. Then Tim came back to bed and started snoring, and I continued to toss and turn.

Let's hope that tonight is a little more restful for everyone.

Missing Elliot

This morning, for the first time, I had to leave the house before Elliot was awake. As I kissed him goodbye, he flung his head from side to side in the almost-violent way he does when he's trying to fall asleep or about to wake up. I waited a few minutes to see if he'd notice that I was staring down at him, but no luck. I had to say goodbye to a sleeping baby.

Keep in mind: it hadn't been that long since I'd last seen little Elliot. I was awake with him from 12:45 to 1:30 this morning, and not too happy about it. He was hungry, fussy and squirmy...and just not interested in going back to sleep. But, this morning, when I desperately wanted to see his open eyes and smile, he just wouldn't wake up.

I miss my little baby already.

Sometimes when I leave Elliot (especially when he's with Tim, as he is now), it's no big deal. But other times, I feel like I'm going to miss out on something. And sometimes when I get home and see how much fun he and Tim are having, I feel like I did.

I don't want to be one of those parents who can't stand to be away from her child. I don't want to be one of those mothers who doesn't have a life outside of motherhood. It's important for me to continue to have non-baby interests and activities and for Tim and I to also do so (although we've been pretty weak on the activities lately!) Of course, I don't think it would be healthy if I were with Elliot every single minute of every single day. And frankly, like any mother of an infant (or probably a child of any age), there are times when I just need a break from him.

But right now, I'm missing my little Elliot.

Introducing Wally-One Sock!!

I'm very excited to announce that my children's picture book, Wally One-Sock, is now available for sale! Inspired by Elliot, Wally One-Sock tells the story of a baby boy who just can't manage to keep two socks on his feet! (If you're a parent constantly on the hunt for your child's missing sock, you'll know what I'm talking about. In fact, I just had a friend tell me that her 16-year old daughter still tends to be a "one-socker.")

The idea for this book came to me one sleepy middle-of-the-night while I was feeding Elliot a bottle. Watching my "Mister One-Sock" twirl around one bare foot as he slurped and chugged, a rhyme sprung into my head, "Mister One-Sock was all set to go. "But wait," said Mommy, "is that a big toe?"

During subsequent feedings, the book began to take shape as I thought of more stanzas to the rhyme. (Unfortunately, as I didn't write them down until later, I think I lost a few good ideas!) Mister One-Sock evolved into Wally and I found an illustrator to create whimsical drawings to match the playful verse in the book.

Although I may be a bit subjective (!), I think that Wally One-Sock is a great book for pre-school children, young readers...and any parent who has ever wondered why their baby is wearing just one sock! Wally One-Sock can be purchased here for $12.99. So, if you're looking for a holiday gift for a youngster in your life, please keep my book in mind.

Three Months of Elliot!

Six months ago, Tim and I were in Peru hiking the Inca Trail. Although we knew there was a birth couple that might want to meet us, a baby seemed like a very distant possibility.

Five months ago, we'd been selected by the couple to be Elliot's adoptive parents and were starting to get to know them. But, it was really hard to imagine that the birth mother's pregnancy would result in our baby.

Four months ago, we had a nursery ready to go, and were counting down the days to our baby's arrival. I was nervous and scared, and starting to panic that I wouldn't even like motherhood.

Flash forward to today. Little Elliot is three months old. Today marks the first quarter of his young life. Three months ago today, Elliot came into our lives and captured our hearts. I love being his mother, and Tim adores being "Daddy" all over again. And we both love Elliot so very much.

It's hard to believe how much our lives have changed in three short months. It's strange how it seems like Elliot has been a part of us for longer than 90 days. While it's only the beginning of our lifelong adventure with Elliot, I couldn't be happier with the fantastic turn our lives took just three months ago.

Are Baby Girls' Clothes Really Cuter?

Are little girls' clothes really cuter than those designed for baby boys? That's what I'd always thought. I'd always figured that parents (okay, I mean mothers) could dress their baby girls as though they were dolls, while mothers of boys were left to clad their sons in mini versions of Dad's outfits.

Now I see that's not the case, at least not for a three-month old. Looking through little Elliot's rather extensive wardrobe (thanks to a lot of gift-givers), I see that he has some pretty adorable outfits...and many of them are not at all replicas of adult male clothing.

Consider this get-up, which Tim and I affectionately call "Monkey Butt," for obvious reasons. The green and brown stripes on the pants complete the look, making this one of my favorite clothing choices for little Elliot.

Another favorite outfit also features horizontal strips, which aren't exactly slimming on my 97th-percentile weight son. But, no matter. He looks SO cute, cozy and cuddly while wearing his "jailhouse dog" -- a microfleece, one-piece outfit with alternating gray and white stripes that's trimmed in blue and features an adorable red and white dog. However, as has been the case in the past, he will likely grow out of the feet first, meaning the scissors will have to come out.

Speaking of one-piece outfits that don't require socks, he also has a goofy-looking duo that I like because of what they say. One of the funniest things about his "I love Mommy" and "I love Daddy"  ensembles is that it often looks like he's putting on a puppet show with his dog or bear feet while he's eating his bottle. And, I've caught Leo the Cat batting at them a few times.

Of course, Elliot has some more "grown-up" clothes: a pair of brown corduroys, jeans, a few long-sleeve polo-type shirts. But he'll be able to wear these "mature" styles for many more years. For now, I prefer to dress my precious baby boy in animal themes, silly patterns and other clothing that he'll soon outgrow if he grows up as fast as everyone tells me they do.