Elliot's Latest Adventures

For a toddler like Elliot, it seems that almost every day brings a new discovery -- whether it's realizing that he has a belly button or figuring out how to unscrew the top to Mommy's mascara. But, over the holidays, Elliot's horizons have really expanded and he's had some larger adventures in addition to his day-to-day new experiences.

• First trip to an art museum: Although Elliot is an art fair veteran, he'd never been to an art museum...until yesterday. Based on our experience, we'll definitely be going back. We stuck mainly to modern art, brightly-colored paintings and large sculptures that we thought would interest our toddler.Our strategy was successful. He tried to touch. He walked around while babbling and smiling. He played with the ropes separating viewers from the art (which I'll admit was his favorite activity). I'm not sure what little Elliot absorbed from the mish-mash of Hindu gods, Andy Warhols, still lifes and modernistic sculptures we saw, but Tim and I strongly feel that early exposure to art can only be a positive for our curious little boy.

• Sledding (of sorts): Earlier this week, the sun was shining, the snow was still relatively new, and it seemed like the perfect afternoon for a sledding excursion at our local park. So, we bundled the reluctant Elliot into his bibbed snow pants, puffy winter coat, clumsy boots, hat and gloves...and into the car seat. He was not too excited to get dressed. And, unfortunately, he was even less excited to be pulled around on the flat park surface in his new red plastic shed. In fact, he seemed fairly scared of the whole experience...even before I most unfortunately tipped the sled over. "This is supposed to be fun," Tim and I kept telling our whining son. And hopefully, next time (for there will be a next time), sledding will be more enjoyable.

•  Time with Family and Friends: Of course, this is nothing new. Since he was born, Elliot has been exposed to a lot of family birthdays, holiday celebrations and other festivities. But lately, the experience is changing for him. He seems to be finally "coming out of his shell" and getting over his anxiety and clingy attitude in group settings. Over the holidays, we've had several Christmas celebrations and other get-togethers, and Elliot has been great. It's been a joy to watch him run around, play with other kids and act more and more like the Elliot that we see at home...rather than a more timid version of himself.

As the new year rapidly approaches, I'm looking forward to Elliot's ongoing adventures, experiences and discoveries....and I hope you'll enjoy reading about them!

The Best Christmas Present

Crouching, Elliot opened the plastic oven door. In went a plastic coffeepot, out came a plastic plate. He slammed the door shut. Standing, Elliot decisively rearranged the contents of his refrigerator so that all of the orange pot and pan lids sat on the top shelf. 

Elliot stood on tiptoe to grasp the matching yellow set of plastic salt and pepper shakers. He placed them on the kitchen floor. Then, carefully, he repositioned them where they had been just seconds before. He looked at Tim and me with a big smile on his face, proud of his accomplishment.

He held the orange kitchen phone to his ear. He stirred an invisible meal with a spatula in a saucepan. He squatted down. Stood up. Opened doors....only to close them seconds later. He moved things around, then put them back where they'd been.

Adorable in his fuzzy footie pajamas, Elliot was having a great time playing with his new toy on Christmas morning. It's amazing how Santa knew that our baby would be so enthralled with a play kitchen set.

And Tim and I were just as enthralled observing him. For at least 20 minutes, we stood watching our beautiful boy. He was so in the moment, so busy, so engaged, so absolutely happy.

"The best Christmas present ever," Tim said. I couldn't agree more.

When Elliot Can't Sleep

When Elliot can't sleep, nobody else can either. Last night was a prime example.

At 12:38, my sleep was suddenly interrupted by Elliot's sharp cries coming over the monitor. Tim was already en route to our baby's room. For at least 15 minutes, I listened to the tapping and creaking of the rocking chair as Daddy tried to soothe his baby back to sleep. No luck. As soon as he left the room, Elliot started to cry.

Next, we tried Tylenol...after all, there's no real way to know when Elliot is in pain from teething. Then, a warmer "sleepy sack" to fight off the chill in his room. Some water. Still awake. Still crying.

I tried my turn at rocking my tired and distressed little baby back to sleep. Several times, I thought he was out. Several times, I lay him gently back in his crib, then started to leave the room. Each time, he woke up. Finally, exhausted, I left him crying.

Any crying. And crying.

Then, I suggested something to Tim that I'm theoretically opposed to: bringing him into our room. "That never works," Tim replied. We tried it anyway. On one hand, it was successful: Elliot's tears stopped. But, in terms of getting him back to sleep, it was a huge disaster.

Elliot flopped, he turned, he tried to make my nose go "beep." "It's sleeping," I tried to explain. He seemed to find it hilarious that Mommy and Daddy were both lying in bed...just doing nothing. Suddenly, he was wide awake, in a great mood, and ready to play. But, it was now approaching 2 a.m., and neither Tim nor I were that amused.

So, Elliot went back to his own room. And eventually, the crying stopped.

Was he teething? Cold? Was it the full moon or last night's eclipse? There's no way to know. All I do know is that I'm feeling kind of tired today...and Elliot should now be napping, but isn't.

Christmas through Elliot's Eyes

Elliot ran in circles around the room, sometimes tripping over his feet in excitement. He looked at the bright, multi-colored lights that make the bookcase festive, then from Tim to me. "Ah, ah," he shouted in happiness, his mouth open wide, his big, brown eyes twinkling with delight. He raced from one closed box full of ornaments to the other, trying to open them up and reveal the treasures inside.

Last weekend, we put our Christmas tree, and Elliot was in awe.

Since then, he seems to mostly forget about the tree during the day...which is great, as I envisioned him pulling on ornaments and knocking the entire thing down. But at night, when the sky is dark and the lights on our Scotch pine are bright, Elliot marvels anew at the beautiful new display in our living room.

He probably doesn't realize that he was there when we picked out the tree from a local lot. He probably doesn't even realize that what he's looking at is a tree. But, Elliot knows that it's new and pretty...and it delights him.

And it delights me to watch the expression of sheer joy on my baby's face as he admires the snowman perched atop the bookcase, the lights strung along the mantel, the neighbor's holiday displays visible at night from inside our house. I loved watching Elliot watch the snow fall, reaching upward toward the kitchen window as though to touch it through the glass. A few days later, we bundled up and went outside so that he could discover the snow for himself. Although he resisted the process of getting dressed -- snow pants, jacket, hat, mittens (mismatched because he keeps losing them) and boots -- he found the snow fascinating. He bent down to pick it up, rubbed it between his mittens, then handed it over to me so I too could see what snow feels like.

Although this is Elliot's second winter and second Christmas, he was too young last year to really enjoy either. This year will be fun...although Elliot won't understand what's going on. He doesn't know anything about Santa Claus. Or Jesus. He doesn't expect gifts, although I understand he will be getting some :-) And, he has no idea that "the holidays" can be too hyped, over-commercialized and stressful.

All Elliot knows is wonder. And joy. And pure happiness.

Isn't that what Christmas is really about?

Just One Little Needle Prick

Elliot grew timid the moment we entered the lab. He clung to my leg, demanding to be picked up. I obliged, knowing that his fear level was only going to rise.

I tried to distract him by pointing out the pretty red poinsettias, the Impressionistic print on the wall, the sticker bearing a cartoon character he'd never seen before. It worked for a little while.

After handing over my insurance card and driver's license and explaining why the name they had in their system (his "birth name") didn't match his real name (which I thought we were done with by now), we were instructed to sit down in a big, blue chair. Elliot was immediately captivated by the stack of cotton pads and the glass tubes with lavender-colored tops. Despite his reaching, I didn't give him one.

Then, the nurse approached. Elliot started to whimper. She asked me to roll up the sleeve of his new, baby blue shirt to place gauge around his tiny upper arm. My baby started to cry. Then, I watched in horror as the silver needle came toward him and punctured his skin. Tears streamed down my little boy's face.

And then, it was over -- the blood-drawing, at least. The tears and whimpering continued for a few more minutes until Elliot was distracted by the Christmas tree in the office entry-way.

I told Elliot that he'd been a brave boy, that Mommy and Daddy didn't like to have blood drawn, either. I told him that we just needed to find out if he was allergic to any foods (since he seems to break out in hives or become splotchy after eating certain things). But, he didn't understand. All he knew was that Mommy had taken him to a place where they hurt him.

Of course, he didn't seem to remember for long, and the incident was really not all that traumatic. But, it made me think about how awful it would be if Elliot were sick and needed ongoing medical tests and treatments. It made me say a silent prayer of thanks for his health. And, this brief experience made me think of all the parents out there who are dealing with children with health challenges.

I really hope that Elliot doesn't have food allergies, especially not any that will linger for life. But, even if he does, it will be far from the worst health concern that a parent could face.

Down to One Bottle...and Holding

Yesterday, at Elliot's 15-month appointment, our pediatrician gave me some information that said, "By now, your toddler should be drinking exclusively from a sippy cup." Uh-oh.

When the doctor asked about Elliot's milk intake, I told her that he drinks milk from a sippy cup during the day, but has a pre-bedtime bottle. A look of consternation crossed her face as she explained that he shouldn't learn to associate a bottle with sleep by making it part of the bedtime routine. Uh-oh. The bottle is definitely a core component of Elliot's going-to-bed ritual.

I know he's no longer "supposed" to be taking a bottle, but I thought we were making progress. We recently eliminated his morning bottle, which was a bit of a challenge. But yesterday, the doctor told me we'd be better off giving him one bottle first thing in the morning rather than one right before bed if adequate milk intake is our concern (since he doesn't even drink 8 ounces from a sippy cup over the course of three meals).

What? Reintroduce the morning bottle after we've weaned him from it and established a new morning routine? I don't think so.

They say that drinking from a bottle can cause cavities. But really, how can drinking a bottle for 10 minutes and then immediately having your teeth brushed be any different than drinking from a sippy cup? However, if I found out that Elliot had tooth decay due to delayed bottle-drinking, I'd feel awful (especially as I'm proud to say that I have no cavities). 

From what I've read, in Europe they take a less stringent approach to weaning from the bottle. They consider adequate milk intake more important than how the milk is consumed. In a way, I'm sort of with the Europeans.

But, I live in Michigan...and I'm starting to feel a little guilty that Elliot still has a bottle. However, truth be told, I love to snuggle with my baby while he has his nighttime bottle, and know he'll only be small enough to cuddle with me in that way for a short time. I tend to think that, like with everything else, Elliot will one day change his habit and start to really drink from a sippy cup. Then, he'll no longer need the bottle, and we'll adjust his bedtime routine. So, I may be backing off a bit from my stated goal of being bottle-free by the end of 2010...but we shall see.

My Decision to Stay at Home: One Year Later

The other day, while pulling Elliot around the neighborhood in his wagon, we passed a local daycare center. I  immediately thought, "I'm so glad Elliot isn't there." I have nothing against this particular place (which I know nothing about). It might be fantastic. But, I'm glad that Elliot spends his days with me, rather than in daycare.

About one year ago, I went back to work at the end of my three-month parental leave. I quickly realized that I just couldn't stand to be away from my son...and ended up quitting. Fortunately, my boss couldn't have been more understanding, and I maintain a relationship with the company as a freelance writer.

The best of both worlds...at least for me.

I would be the first to recognize that staying home with a baby, toddler or multiple children is not for everyone. Of course, there are many who can't afford it...and I consider myself fortunate that we can (one of the advantages of being an older parent). Beyond the paycheck, many parents need the stimulation and intellectual outlet that work provides. I totally understand that.

Sometimes, being a "SAHM" (a term I hardly ever use to describe myself) can be hard. At times, I feel a little lost, a little bored. But, in all honestly, I sometimes felt that way over the course of my career. If I'm going to feel a little under-stimulated, I'd much prefer it be with my Elliot, not in the office. And, I think because I make an effort to get involved in a lot of activities with Elliot, I usually don't feel that I'm missing out on the stimulation of adult conversation during the day (or maybe I just don't find adult conversation that stimulating!)

It would be hard for me not to have at least a little time for "my own thing." Therefore, I feel lucky that I have the creative outlet and intellectual stimulation of freelance writing and of my side writing projects (such as this blog). I feel luckier still to be able to spend each and every day with my precious Elliot, and to witness his milestones first-hand. We laugh, we play, we chase each other around. We engage in "fun" activities - music class, library programs, trips to play areas and parks. We also do a lot of day-to-day activities -- laundry, grocery shopping, etc. -- that to Elliot, are all new and fun.

Staying at home isn't for everyone. However, over the course of the past year, I have realized it is for me...and for Elliot.

A Mind of His Own

As adoptive parents, Tim and I sometimes talk about the role of nature vs. nurture in our dear little son. While his adorable looks are biological, we're pretty sure that much of his personality (especially the goofiness) comes from Mommy and Daddy. But recently, he's showing a very strong streak of stubbornness that I'm guessing is just part of being a toddler.

My little Elliot has a mind of his own.

Lately, getting him into his coat is an epic struggle that involves running around the house (me after him), collapsing on the floor (him) and a whole lot of whining (usually, just him). Obviously, we don't plan to be shut-ins this winter, so I'm hoping this phase won't last long. Once we're in the car, Elliot is fine...and once we get to wherever we're going, he usually has fun. But, I really think that since leaving the house is not Elliot's idea, he resists the coat.

Then there's the battle over changing my baby's diaper, which he recently seems to view as a major insult. He squirms, he wriggles, he flops about on his changing table like a fish on dry land. Since I don't anticipate my 15-month-old son being toilet-trained anytime soon, he will need to learn to cooperate with many more diaper changes for quite some time.

When we're out in public, people typically say that Elliot is "sweet." And he is. Except for when he hears the word "no" -- as in, "No, I'm sorry. I cannot read 'Pajama Time' one more time. Read it to yourself or pick another book, please."  In recent weeks, Elliot's reaction is often extreme: he whines, he cries, sometimes, he even throws himself to the floor in his best imitation of a child who's been told he's not getting a treat at Target. This behavior (which I honestly didn't expect quite yet) typically earns him stern words in a no-nonsense tone meant to convey that we are not going to put up with such silliness.

As Elliot gets older, I want him to be an independent thinker who realizes what he wants. That's why I often let him pick which kind of cereal he'd like for breakfast, sometimes let him decide which shirt or shoes to wear and almost always let him pick out the books he wants to read (until I've reached my limit for re-reading the same one). But, he's got to learn that "you can't always get what you want" -- something that's hard for most of us, and harder still for a non-talking toddler who can't always communicate exactly what he wants or why.