Sharp screams interrupt the otherwise happy sounds of banging, singing and dancing. Huge tears stream down his face. At one point, apparently not getting the reaction he expected, he drops to the ground and begins to kick.
Losing it in music class. Elliot's done it before...although not for a long time. But today, it's not my son causing a scene. It's another kid, and Elliot can't seem to look away. Even as he proudly helps Miss Melissa carry the large tub of instruments to the table, his gaze never wavers from the crying boy. First, he's curious. Then, his curiosity turns to bewilderment, which I find perplexing. After all, doesn't Elliot know that he exhibits similar behavior at regular intervals?
Apparently not. As the boy's screams get louder and his mom doesn't remove him from the room, Elliot grows increasingly concerned. "He's okay, honey," I whisper, "Just a little upset. That happens to you sometimes, too."
"Yes," Elliot agrees. But, nonetheless, he stays nestled on my lap during the end-of-class cuddle song (a time he often chooses for running around the room). I view his worried reflection in the front-of-the-room mirror. A few minutes ago, he looked big and boy-like. Now, he somehow looks smaller and younger.
Of course, he'll soon be okay, as will the toddler who's now at the tail end of his tantrum. And next time, I know that it might just be Elliot who's losing it for no apparent reason.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
No, NO, No-No-No!
As he nears two-and-a-half, Elliot is increasingly verbal. He can answer simple questions about his day. He can identify the colors of objects -- in both English and Spanish. He has an amazing ability to memorize and then recite many of his books.
But, despite all the words that now comprise his vocabulary, one of the simplest is his favorite. This particular word is short, to-the-point and almost identical in both English and Spanish. That's right...you guessed it: no!
Perhaps because he uses (and overuses) the word so frequently, Elliot has come up with a variety of"nos."
There's the annoyed "no" when I ask him to do something he just doesn't feel like doing, like filling in the missing words in a story I'm reading to him. There's the stridently loud "no" he uses -- usually accompanied by getting on the floor and refusing to move -- when he's really upset about something. Of course, this typically occurs in public, as it did this morning when he didn't want to leave the museum (the one that he said "no, no, no" about going to in the first place).
Perhaps my least favorite of Elliot's "nos" is the "recurring no," where he somehow manages to say no-no-no many times in a row -- for up to half an hour at a time. Sometimes, it goes longer, but these instances are usually punctuated by periods of intense crying.
Being a toddler can be difficult, at least from what I've observed. You don't have a lot of say in how your day goes, and you sometimes can't express why you "no like it."
So, I don't expect the "nos" to stop anytime soon. Although, from what I've heard, one day "no" will be replaced by an equally annoying mantra: "I don't know."
But, despite all the words that now comprise his vocabulary, one of the simplest is his favorite. This particular word is short, to-the-point and almost identical in both English and Spanish. That's right...you guessed it: no!
Perhaps because he uses (and overuses) the word so frequently, Elliot has come up with a variety of"nos."
There's the annoyed "no" when I ask him to do something he just doesn't feel like doing, like filling in the missing words in a story I'm reading to him. There's the stridently loud "no" he uses -- usually accompanied by getting on the floor and refusing to move -- when he's really upset about something. Of course, this typically occurs in public, as it did this morning when he didn't want to leave the museum (the one that he said "no, no, no" about going to in the first place).
Perhaps my least favorite of Elliot's "nos" is the "recurring no," where he somehow manages to say no-no-no many times in a row -- for up to half an hour at a time. Sometimes, it goes longer, but these instances are usually punctuated by periods of intense crying.
Being a toddler can be difficult, at least from what I've observed. You don't have a lot of say in how your day goes, and you sometimes can't express why you "no like it."
So, I don't expect the "nos" to stop anytime soon. Although, from what I've heard, one day "no" will be replaced by an equally annoying mantra: "I don't know."
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Elliot's Magical Morning (or we do some errands)
Yesterday morning, we went to the car wash...
I look back at Elliot, who is leaning forward in his car seat. His mouth is half-open, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "Going to be loud. Sounds like hair dryer," he says happily, referring to the powerful dryer we'd hear once the washing was complete.
"Do you like the car wash?" I ask, even though I knew the answer. After all, he asks to go all the time and plays "car wash" with his trucks and school bus!
Next, we made our way to the local produce market, where we have somewhat of a routine...
"See fire. See fire," Elliot impatiently requests from the front seat of the shopping cart. So off we go, to stand and stare at the flames jumping out of the hearth oven used for making pizzas. As usual, we don't buy any, instead moving on to the samples.
Elliot eagerly accepts a piece of grapefruit from my hand, only to hand it back to me with an "I don't like it." The clementines and cheese are more his style. Although Elliot is disappointed that there are no pita chips out today, it's okay. We still have the coffee beans to look forward to.
"Hello," the woman at the counter says to me, knowing from experience why we're there. She tells me that it made her day last time when he said, "Bye, bye, coffee beans." But Elliot is oblivious to the fact that she's talking about him. He's completely mesmerized by the popping brown beans visible through the glass canister.
And then, we left the store...
And what luck, they just happen to be doing a major expansion of the building. And, just as we open the door, a forklift just happens to be lifting two workers high up in the sky to access the top part of the wall. "Little bit closer. Little bit closer. Stay for just few more minutes," Elliot begs, when I tell him it's time to go.
Eventually, we leave to go home and play outside before lunch. I've just crossed a few errands off my list. But for Elliot, I think it was a magical morning!
I look back at Elliot, who is leaning forward in his car seat. His mouth is half-open, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "Going to be loud. Sounds like hair dryer," he says happily, referring to the powerful dryer we'd hear once the washing was complete.
"Do you like the car wash?" I ask, even though I knew the answer. After all, he asks to go all the time and plays "car wash" with his trucks and school bus!
Next, we made our way to the local produce market, where we have somewhat of a routine...
"See fire. See fire," Elliot impatiently requests from the front seat of the shopping cart. So off we go, to stand and stare at the flames jumping out of the hearth oven used for making pizzas. As usual, we don't buy any, instead moving on to the samples.
Elliot eagerly accepts a piece of grapefruit from my hand, only to hand it back to me with an "I don't like it." The clementines and cheese are more his style. Although Elliot is disappointed that there are no pita chips out today, it's okay. We still have the coffee beans to look forward to.
"Hello," the woman at the counter says to me, knowing from experience why we're there. She tells me that it made her day last time when he said, "Bye, bye, coffee beans." But Elliot is oblivious to the fact that she's talking about him. He's completely mesmerized by the popping brown beans visible through the glass canister.
And then, we left the store...
And what luck, they just happen to be doing a major expansion of the building. And, just as we open the door, a forklift just happens to be lifting two workers high up in the sky to access the top part of the wall. "Little bit closer. Little bit closer. Stay for just few more minutes," Elliot begs, when I tell him it's time to go.
Eventually, we leave to go home and play outside before lunch. I've just crossed a few errands off my list. But for Elliot, I think it was a magical morning!
Friday, February 17, 2012
Trucks, Trucks, Trucks...the Obsession Continues
One thing that's constant with a toddler is that nothing stays the same. For days, Elliot played with nothing but his teapot. Then, all of a sudden, he was over tea and focused on playing with his Little People. He wants to listen to nothing but "música salsa," for weeks, and then suddenly, only the Beatles will do.
A toddler's tastes are fickle. But for Elliot, one thing has been a constant source of amusement and fascination: trucks. If anything, Elliot's obsession with trucks of all types and sizes -- from a miniature plastic roller to the garbage truck rolling down the street-- has only deepened.
Lately, Elliot can often be found lying on his belly, slowly moving one or more toy trucks across the sofa, carpeting (or when I took my eye off him for a moment), the filthy garage floor. "Forklift picks up everything," he excitedly exclaims. "Front loader picks up dirt."
And he should know. Recently, his taste in videos has changed from Elmo and Thomas the Tank Engine to promotional videos for Volvo construction equipment and instructional videos about bulldozers and excavators set to music. (Yes, everything exists on Youtube!).
I look around our family room. If I wanted to sit down on the sofa, I'd have to move a Matchbox dump trunk, Thomas the Tank Engine and a green and red farm loader. On the floor, a "green" fire engine (made of recycled red plastic) keeps a large front end loader and a smiling dump truck company. Closer to Elliot's toy box, an upside-down car carrier and a school bus full of assorted animals wait to be played with again.
Lest you think he spent the morning playing with trucks, he was only in the family room for about 30 minutes so far today. That's because Elliot and I were out and about: we stood outside of a delivery truck, looking at "where the driver sits." We had to get just a "little bit closer" to a parked mail truck. And for at least 10 minutes, we watched a large flatbed truck idle...before going to play in the park with Elliot's excavator.
Trucks, trucks, trucks, truck, trucks. My little boy loves his trucks. And because I love him, I now spend a lot of time with trucks!
A toddler's tastes are fickle. But for Elliot, one thing has been a constant source of amusement and fascination: trucks. If anything, Elliot's obsession with trucks of all types and sizes -- from a miniature plastic roller to the garbage truck rolling down the street-- has only deepened.
Lately, Elliot can often be found lying on his belly, slowly moving one or more toy trucks across the sofa, carpeting (or when I took my eye off him for a moment), the filthy garage floor. "Forklift picks up everything," he excitedly exclaims. "Front loader picks up dirt."
And he should know. Recently, his taste in videos has changed from Elmo and Thomas the Tank Engine to promotional videos for Volvo construction equipment and instructional videos about bulldozers and excavators set to music. (Yes, everything exists on Youtube!).
I look around our family room. If I wanted to sit down on the sofa, I'd have to move a Matchbox dump trunk, Thomas the Tank Engine and a green and red farm loader. On the floor, a "green" fire engine (made of recycled red plastic) keeps a large front end loader and a smiling dump truck company. Closer to Elliot's toy box, an upside-down car carrier and a school bus full of assorted animals wait to be played with again.
Lest you think he spent the morning playing with trucks, he was only in the family room for about 30 minutes so far today. That's because Elliot and I were out and about: we stood outside of a delivery truck, looking at "where the driver sits." We had to get just a "little bit closer" to a parked mail truck. And for at least 10 minutes, we watched a large flatbed truck idle...before going to play in the park with Elliot's excavator.
Trucks, trucks, trucks, truck, trucks. My little boy loves his trucks. And because I love him, I now spend a lot of time with trucks!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
To My Little Valentine
Dear Elliot,
I love you when...
...you dance with me to the tune of the garbage disposal, request apples for your puppet giraffe, pretend to eat my hair. I love you when you're silly!
...you kiss me with your mouth wide open, give me hugs before I leave the house, tell me you want to "snuggle Mommy." I love you when you're sweet!
...you get up on the "Crabby Appleton" side of bed, whine for no apparent reason, throw tantrums on the floor. Although I don't like your behavior, I love you when you're crabby!
...you cling to me, hide behind me and don't want to try new things...and then eventually realize you like them. I love you when you're timid (and love when you realize you don't have to be)!
...you play the tambourine to my maraca, sit on the floor with me as we read "just one more" story together, help me cook (usually by adding random amounts of pepper). I love you when you're fun to be around!
I love you, my little Valentine...always and unconditionally.
I love you when...
...you dance with me to the tune of the garbage disposal, request apples for your puppet giraffe, pretend to eat my hair. I love you when you're silly!
...you kiss me with your mouth wide open, give me hugs before I leave the house, tell me you want to "snuggle Mommy." I love you when you're sweet!
...you get up on the "Crabby Appleton" side of bed, whine for no apparent reason, throw tantrums on the floor. Although I don't like your behavior, I love you when you're crabby!
...you cling to me, hide behind me and don't want to try new things...and then eventually realize you like them. I love you when you're timid (and love when you realize you don't have to be)!
...you play the tambourine to my maraca, sit on the floor with me as we read "just one more" story together, help me cook (usually by adding random amounts of pepper). I love you when you're fun to be around!
I love you, my little Valentine...always and unconditionally.
Friday, February 10, 2012
A Random Number of Random Musings
Some random musings on a snowy Friday afternoon:
- Pre-Elliot, I never would have thought it possible for someone to repeat the word "no" for 25 minutes straight. Now I know -- it can be done!
- Why do store clerks slow move so slowly when Elliot is having a major meltdown at checkout? This morning, I had time to peel my toddler off the floor at least four times while the cashier processed my $7 purchase.
- How can a dish soap sponge and a vacuum cleaner (which Elliot pretends is a leaf blower) be more fun to play with than so many of his large and varied assortment of toys?
- When will I learn that certain types of questions, such as "Why do you insist on having a major meltdown every Thursday?" are totally non-productive with a toddler?
- How did Elliot manage to memorize so many of his books at such a young age? It's amazing to watch him stare intently at the pictures and recite the words, page-by-page, to books ranging from Where the Wild Things Are to No, David! to the Pout Pout Fish in the Big, Big Dark.
- While I hope Elliot someday learns the "right" way to kiss, there's nothing like getting a big open-mouthed smooch from my sweet little boy!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
From "No" to "No" with a Swim Lesson In-Between
"No," said Elliot in dismay when I told him last night that we had a swim lesson this morning. "No," he said even more loudly when I repeated the news this morning in an overly cheerful voice. His "nos" got louder and more insistent when I put on his swim diaper and bathing suit.
And, you can probably guess what he said when we arrived at the pool and all the other kids got into the water and started splashing around. "No, no, no." He refused to sit next to me at the edge of the pool. He wouldn't get in by himself, instead hanging on for dear life as I managed to maneuver myself into position and jump in with 29 pounds of toddler hanging on to me. Once in the water, he clung to me like a koala and responded to everything the instructor said to him with a definitive "no."
Until suddenly, half-way through the 30-minute class, something changed. Elliot started to smile. He began to take interest in the basket of toys at the water's edge. And, he got distracted enough by the bigger kids taking a lesson on the other side of the lane marker than he let me put him on his stomach in a swimming position.
Later, when he was talking to my parents, he told them he'd "blown bubbles." Um...I think that was me. But, no matter. Somehow, Elliot got more comfortable in the water today -- so comfortable, in fact, that he didn't want to leave when our half-hour was over.
After about 45 minutes, I decided I'd had enough chlorine. "It's time to get out of the pool, baby."
Elliot's response? "No, no, no!"
And, you can probably guess what he said when we arrived at the pool and all the other kids got into the water and started splashing around. "No, no, no." He refused to sit next to me at the edge of the pool. He wouldn't get in by himself, instead hanging on for dear life as I managed to maneuver myself into position and jump in with 29 pounds of toddler hanging on to me. Once in the water, he clung to me like a koala and responded to everything the instructor said to him with a definitive "no."
Until suddenly, half-way through the 30-minute class, something changed. Elliot started to smile. He began to take interest in the basket of toys at the water's edge. And, he got distracted enough by the bigger kids taking a lesson on the other side of the lane marker than he let me put him on his stomach in a swimming position.
Later, when he was talking to my parents, he told them he'd "blown bubbles." Um...I think that was me. But, no matter. Somehow, Elliot got more comfortable in the water today -- so comfortable, in fact, that he didn't want to leave when our half-hour was over.
After about 45 minutes, I decided I'd had enough chlorine. "It's time to get out of the pool, baby."
Elliot's response? "No, no, no!"
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Answering Adoption Questions (Open Adoption Roundtable)
This post is part of the most recent Open Adoption Roundtable, in which bloggers representing different facets of open adoption blog on a specific topic. This time, the topic is how we answer questions about others in our "adoption constellation," specifically those that require us to respond from another person's point of view. (Yes, I realize this is kind of confusing).
In reality, I no longer get that many questions about Elliot's birth parents, except for a lingering curiosity about how often we see them. Elliot is now going on 2.5 years, and we've been open about his adoption from the beginning. So, basically everyone who might have had questions has already asked them. Of course, as Elliot gets older, enters school, makes friends, and we all meet new people, that will change, and I'll probably end up explaining again the basics of open adoption and why it's a good thing.
For now, I'd say that I address assumptions more than questions. Most people seem to think that only teenagers place babies for adoption. (And yes, this is probably what I thought before entering the adoption process). People also seem to think that only birth mothers without the support of a committed partner make an adoption decision.
In our situation, neither of those things is true. So, my response is based on what Elliot's birth parents have shared with us -- both in conversation and writing. They just never wanted to be parents. Not everyone does.
And then I thank my lucky stars...because I know that Tim and I were meant to be Elliot's parents.
In reality, I no longer get that many questions about Elliot's birth parents, except for a lingering curiosity about how often we see them. Elliot is now going on 2.5 years, and we've been open about his adoption from the beginning. So, basically everyone who might have had questions has already asked them. Of course, as Elliot gets older, enters school, makes friends, and we all meet new people, that will change, and I'll probably end up explaining again the basics of open adoption and why it's a good thing.
For now, I'd say that I address assumptions more than questions. Most people seem to think that only teenagers place babies for adoption. (And yes, this is probably what I thought before entering the adoption process). People also seem to think that only birth mothers without the support of a committed partner make an adoption decision.
In our situation, neither of those things is true. So, my response is based on what Elliot's birth parents have shared with us -- both in conversation and writing. They just never wanted to be parents. Not everyone does.
And then I thank my lucky stars...because I know that Tim and I were meant to be Elliot's parents.
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